Lesson 84: Do Not Magnify The Small Thing That Did Not Do Well



There was a high spirit team students in one of the camps, which won a lot of games. However, that team did not perform in one of the game and continue to lose afterwards. The game, Three-Legged Ball, was actually very easy because it was a race which only involved two persons with a ball in between their legs.However, the partners could not cooperate with each other even after trying a few methods. They either could not walk in the same pace, or could not walk in the same direction which cause the ball to drop while they were walking. After a few trials, the team became very upset. Some of them even lose their temper and gave up.

It is common to see students getting frustration and losing their temper because of small matter.Therefore, handling students who lose their temper is also quite a challenging task. Once there was a mother who shared with me the conflict which happened between her son and her.

She had a good relationship with her son because she often spent time talking to her son since he was young in order to understand him. However, her son once begged her to buy a smartphone because everyone in his school was having their own phone. Then, she rejected him because she thought it was unnecessary.Surprisingly, her son lost his temper and did not speak to her for a couples of days.As a result, she was very upset because the relationship which was built over a period of time just vanished.

As a human being, we would like others to appreciate us. If we could not get the desired result after putting lots of effort, it is surely upsetting. I experienced the same when I could not handle some difficult cases.

Two years ago, I had a class with 15 primary school students with one ADHD child. I guessed you may be able to understand if you had ADHD student before in your class because you would not have extra time to handle other things. The child always ran around in the class, disturbed other students and made a girl cried.

The mother of the girl said only one sentence when she came to meet me,"This proves that you do not have the ability to control your students." I was so down when i heard her and was wondering, "Am I that bad?"

However, my colleague said, "It is not easy to handle ADHD kid. Besides, other kids are doing fine except the girl who cried, aren't they? Other kids are still happy to come to the class, aren't they? It shows that you are doing fine."

On second thought, she was actually right. It was me who magnify the problem, so I could not see the other things that had done well. Sometimes, parents did the same whereby they tend to magnify the issues between their kids, which cause the other good things to be out of sight. The mother who did not want to buy a phone for her son talked to her son for a few hours and then found out that her son could not fit into his friends because they were using chatting apps to talk to each other after school.  Of course her son realized that he was wrong to lose his temper and apologized to his mother.

Children only know how to behave if we as the adults show them a good example. Even if it is just a small issue encounter in games, the children would persevere if we encourage them. It was really a tough time for the students in the Three-Legged Ball game, but they learned each time they failed. In the end, the team completed the game with better spirit with encouragement from us.

As you handle problems in your daily life, there are times when 'big matters' are resolved well, but 'small matters' don't get resolved, which ruins your mood and troubles your heart.
It happens to anyone. There are many incidents like that in life.
Some people learn from it, but most people are tested on their own.
Do not be tested. You can do it again.



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